


The astonishing life of GA8713

by Soubrettina



Series: Landing Lights [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Canonical Character Death, Distant Finale, F/M, Families of Choice, Flashbacks, Next Generation, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Serious Illness, about 15 years after the action, baby stormtroopers, finn is the best dad, use of the Force in healthcare, we know so little of the Knightes of Ren so why not this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soubrettina/pseuds/Soubrettina
Summary: Coruscant, ABY 49. Two women in a speeder crawling through traffic. A long conversation about events that the younger one only remembers in disconnected pieces that don't always make sense.(A drop of all my imaginings of the end and after the end of Episode 9, from before we knew anything about it. Putting them out before they all get jossed. This is my id-fic.)
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Landing Lights [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536544
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	The astonishing life of GA8713

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, just_ann_now.

It was maybe elevenish when Nio wriggled through the dance floor to me, though maybe it was later. Anyway, obviously I had no idea what he was telling me there, so I shouted my apologies in a couple of ears and followed him to the bar.

“Problem?”

“There’s a lady arrived. To see you.”

“Yeah?”

“Well there was someone coming, wasn’t there? Your dad said.”

“Yeah but… what sort of lady?” Felt awkward saying it. I was wondering what sort of person Nio would call a ‘lady’.

“Human. Kinda small for a human but definitely human.”

“Not my mom?”

“No! Pale colour. Like you. Looks kinda like an owl.”

“Yeah?” “Yeah. Kinda like… obviously someone, though, yeah? Or used to be.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“So you think I should go and meet her?”

“I dunno.” “Where’s my shoes then?”

“I dunno.”

Sometimes I think maybe I need to get a proper assistant. Like, someone not like Nio. I mean if it had been clear whether those shoes were mine to keep then frankly I’d have abandoned them but I was pretty sure that they were supposed to go back to the designer once I’d been holographed so in the end I told Nio he was to find them and send them back because he must be good for something.

***

The speeder bay was of textured durocrete, that wasn’t nice with only stockings on my feet but could have been worse.

I could see her almost straight away, because how many people would be standing in a speeder bay at that time of night- whatever time it was anyway?

I knew my guest had known Mom and Dad years ago, round the time they met, before they adopted me, and I knew that Dad had said she was a ‘diplomat’ but he’d said it in a sort of hesitant way that made it sound like her ‘diplomacy’ sometimes extended to, well, to like, midnight meetings in speeder bays and probably weirder things than that.

Anyway, she was watching the looping holding on a building opposite. That meant I got time for a pretty good look- she was barely tall enough to come up to my chest, a round, pale face with very round eyes and arched eyebrows- the kind of face that would have become attractively interesting at fourteen and remained so as long as the owner lived, one of those faces that's hard to age, like she could have been hardly older than me, though from what Dad had said she couldn’t have been less than forty now.

The advertising holding was one of those that loops round three or four different ads, and it changed now- and so did the woman I was watching. She had been watching the holding in the way that any holo holds your eye when you’re doing nothing and it’s the nearest thing with light and movement. Now she was totally grabbed by what she saw. The ad for ship insurance became the Tethra perfume campaign and a tall fair girl appeared, in a Resistance officer’s yellow sweater, smiling all conspiratorially into the camera while pulling down a regulation beret.

I mean it’s not odd that she paid attention when it appeared, under the circumstances. Not when, if you get me, the girl in the holding was the same person as she’d come to see. So when I went to get her attention I tried to be subtle because I reckoned otherwise the double effect would be too weird. So I said:

“Hey.” As soft as I could.

She turned around and it was like I could see the- whatever it was in her face- I don't know, like kind of longing- get all sucked back until how she looked at me was sort of cool, I mean in the unemotional sense like someone who holds herself in pretty tight and she said:

“Padme. I wonder what your father would have thought.” This seemed a bit off-course, but I did know the answer.

“He said that they never wore hats in real life.”

“Actually, there were hats. That was before your dad blew in. They were part of the uniform as it was ordered, but for some reason every one was too small for a human to wear. I should know, I stood for fifteen minutes in General Organa’s office while she tried to force one onto my head.” She cut off for a moment and her eyes closed, and I saw a spasm of something, maybe at some kind of phantom pain at having her head squeezed. “She gave up when she slipped and her ring scraped my eyebrow, and said something like ‘either my staff all have unusually large heads or there’s been the usual kriff-up.’ After that they mostly get used for insulation.”

She must have snapped back to the present then because she looked me up and down- though for her it was mostly up- and said: “Are you cold?”

Actually it was quite a warm night, but _something_ about the conversation had brought me to hugging my arms around myself.

“I'm okay, I'm just like, wondering what we're doing here. Like, you don't seem the sort of person who'd make a meetup just to critique my Tethra shots.”

“That’s true. Why aren’t you wearing shoes?”

“Oh that, I like, often don’t wear shoes at like, events and functions and stuff. It’s kind of becoming like, my thing, you know? There were holograpers at the party- or the club- I’m not sure- it looks like a club in there but it might be someone’s apartment- I was just like, following the herd, you know?”

“Do you need to collect your things?”

“Nah, Nio followed me. He’s like, kind of an assistant, he knows where I live. Which, um, why don’t you?”

“I do. But your dad said you’re usually out and your sister doesn’t let strangers in, so I came to find you. Want a lift?”

“Er, yeah, okay.” Then I thought of something- that I might be nineteen now but surely the rule about not just getting into speeders with strangers probably still applies. “Sorry, what’s your name?”

“Oh!” She stuck a hand out. “Kaydel Ko Konnix. Security Bureau. Late of the Resistance.”

“Padmé Tico. Failed athlete, spoilt model and indefinitely deferred student.” Of course she knew that but- I stopped mid-shake. “I… I do remember you. You used to wear your hair in little buns. And it was blonde.”

Her face was split by a smile that was far more soft than it was happy.

“And I was almost twice as tall as you, little GA8713.”

You know, I didn’t really like that. I think it might have shown. She did say: “I’m sorry.”

“Mm, ‘s no big deal. I never use that though. Like- it’s not like I’m ashamed it, just like, when I had that name- that’s not a name- nothing nice happened to me then, you know?” (I mean, I know Dad would understand. I mean, obviously.) “Er- speeder?” (After all… yeah, if she knew that, then she and I must have gone way back.)

“Oh yes- this way.”

***

The speeder was enclosed- thank goodness, with my bare feet and loose hair and the dress that was in truth held on with double-sided tape and chutzpah- and generally sleek and comfortable inside given that it had been outside the sort of vehicle you’d never look at twice.

We didn’t speak until we’d taken off and were in one of the crawling circles around the Antilium Tower, and I was staring to relax when my new… Well new friend is a bit much, probably, though I suppose I have friends where we might know even less about each other, but anyway she said:

“So what does your sister do, when she's at home without you?”

“Same as most kids do, I guess. Studies. I think she plays hologames a lot. A droid comes every day to take her to college tutorials. Fairly standard stuff only like, you know, at university. There's a sort of club there for her and the other genius brats but I can't tell whether she likes it or not.”

“You can't tell?”

“Well, Ania never shows any, like, enthusiasm for hanging with other kids but I don't know whether she really doesn't like company around her own age or if it's just, like, Ania being Ania.”

“Really? That's interesting.”

“Ania’s… She's kind of an odd little person. She's okay.”

“So she moved in with you to go to college?”

“Sort of. In theory, I've been supposed to be about to start studying like, every new year that comes round- you see after I had to drop out of the athletics program- I got hit by a speeder when I was fourteen- kind of my own fault- I mean I'm fine but it took cybernetics and so wouldn't be allowed to compete- I got a place to do applied physics and it was like, excellent, only I went on a holocast show with dad once about stormie orphans just before I was meant to start and then the studio got in touch to say a modelling agent had been calling them and was I interested. They were into people with ‘the Parnasus look’, for some reason, and I have it, of course I don't know how- anyway I was like, might as well try it out, and it's like, opening doors still- then once the gifted program had netted Ania then it made sense for us to live here, ‘cos like I said, you couldn't really see her boarding with other kids. And Mom reckoned she would protect me.”

“Protect you?”

“Yeah, like… A lot of the fashion crowd… Well, it's not hard to find people who are like, they get into trouble, like, drugs and going out with people that are out for what they can get, you know? And when models don't do that then they over-work because they're afraid to ever say no? But like, I've got a thirteen year old at home and I can't be out for days on end and I have to come home sober and if I get involved with anyone it's got to be slow. Nobody coming home from bars for the night. Ania wouldn't like it.”

“That's your Mom’s solution.”

“Yeah. She's an engineer.”

“And your parents think you’re safe in your apartment, just the two of you?”

“We’ve got our droids… and anyway, Ania… well, there’s reasons. We’re okay. And we go home like, all the time. I mean like, Mom and Dad home. So we see lots of them and our brothers, and our baby sister, not that Peige likes being called a baby anymore.”

“That’s a lot of you, in that little house in Chandrilla.”

“Seven. Not including Aunt Rey, when she stays there. They extended after Ania was born but… yeah, you don’t get a lot of your own space there.”

“No… do you remember when they first brought you there?”

“I…” Kaydel Ko Konnix had drawn the driving seat- which was both taller and wider than she was- so far forward to drive- being of the kind of stature where legroom is no object- that I couldn’t actually see much of her but the occasional silhouette of one elbow. I leaned back and watched the flicker of lights above.

***

“I remember…”

_...Running out into open, bright rooms. The mysterious shapes under sheets that would be the furniture. Great windows and beyond them light and grass and trees and green. And people- the house was full of people in those days, more than I could count- maybe I knew the numbers but they never stayed still. _

_Sitting on my Dad’s knee- though he couldn’t have been my dad just then- and someone kneeling in front of me with a box, and out of it came my stuffed Wookie and Snowball the toy Tauntaun. And the connectobrix- Mom and Aunt Rey loved those. Every morning when I got up the layout of the lounge was different after they’d redesigned their city…_

“Remember your dad taking you in the garden, with all the plants?”

“Yes. I’d never walked on grass before.”

“I know! Your dad was took off your shoes and you squealed and ran about in shock. It was the first sound you made. After that I think your dad managed to convince you that it was okay to make a noise.”

“I remember that… I just wanted to run about, in the garden, and look at all the growing things. Aunt Rey came out sometimes with a datapad and tried to match all the plants to their names.”

“Do you remember us all squeezed into that room with the ships painted on the walls?”

“Of course. Me in a crib and my mom… and you and Jess and Vi… and Aunt Rey with her hammock on the balcony. It was my room after you all moved away.”

“Do you remember General Organa?”

“I remember… I remember her being there… I remember the other bedroom… it wasn’t exactly that I wasn’t allowed in… at the door someone would say: ‘yes you can come in, if you’re quiet and don’t run about.’”

_ ...A chiaroscuro face watching from a crisp white pillow, propped to see the sunshine at the big window and, in theory, the view to the sea and green hills. Tubes and wires and the flickering of a nurse droid in a corner. Slow, disconcertingly expressive blinks of large, glossy eyes. A silence that seemed to know everything…_

“Who was it, who said you could come in?”

“Ben. His name was Ben. He… I remember that. I remember because people were always saying it with like... like, whenever someone was calling: “Ben!” it made you wonder how Ben had been bugging someone this time, you know?”

“Mmm… yes, I think that’s fair.”

“It’s like… he was the guy with the longish black hair, right? I think he was like, quite tall, I mean everyone was tall to me then, but… and… he didn’t seem to be exactly part of the gang, right? Kinda on the edge of things… or was that just because he was looking after the General?”

“He did stay with General Organa most of the time. It was difficult in a way, but he was one of those people with extra senses like she had- when she became very ill, he could understand her. Without her having to speak.”

“Oh right. I get that now. Only…”

“What?”

“I mean… you know I was little, like, some of these memories don’t make sense… I mean- I think I met Ben _first_.”

“So you do remember that?”

“I… it’s sort of… sort of in there, with a lot of unpleasant things that happened before I came to live with you guys. And it's not that I don't remember- though some of it I don't know if I do remember- I talk with Dad, you see, and because he went through the same thing, only it went on until he was much older, he understands more. Only sometimes I think my memories are his that he has remembered for me, as well as all the other people we know. At STREP and so on.”

“The Storm Trooper Resettlement and Empowerment Partnership?”

“Yes. It's like, always getting broader with like, what they do. That's why they keep changing the name.” “I only just got used to it not being just the StormTrooper Institute anymore.”

“Yeah, well, see the ‘E’ comes about ‘cos like- it’s not just like, our getting our autonomy in a legal way, it’s like, we all got brought up to think in certain ways that have made it complicated to change over to living outside the Order and like, most of us have been brought up to have kind of fears that like, they could control you- I mean that was the whole idea that they were meant to control you- and like, it is possible to change that even when you’re older and helping people get free of that is a lot of what STREP do, and- what was I talking about? I mean, there’s like, things I grew up with like, Dad would have a good idea of like, why I used to be so scared of the dark or of hovering droids but because I was very little I wouldn’t really remember that but I think I _remember_ because I know from him that it’s true.”

***

We were rising at last, on the route where the traffic thinned out, and the towers whizzing past started to be furnished with terraces.

“So… I think I remember the crèche officer taking to another part of the station I didn’t know one day, and there was a man there who looked me over then he put me on a chair and put a datapad just out of my reach and turned it to play Noodle the Nerf cartoons- which I do remember because I’d never seen _anything_ like it before- and then he left me there, he said “stay there“, and I mean I was Stormie cadet, I knew how to obey orders like “stay there”, and then ages later I woke up with a blanket over me and this strange man is back, and when he’d noticed he said “Oh, you’re awake” or something and then “I’ve had to change my plans. Someone I trust is coming for you.” And he examined the label that we little ones all wore with our serial number on, and he said: “what can we do with this?” And he got out some kind of marker stick and started writing over the figures- some he changed with a stroke or two, or wrote over, until _GA8713_ sort of looked like _Padmé_\- said ‘there, now that’s a name’. And he gave me some kind of food- rations like before but different, something sort of chewy but not unpleasant- he asked if I liked the cartoons, and I think I didn’t really know what to say, like, I guess I’d never been asked if I liked something before, but then he put me on his lap and turned some more of them on until I fell asleep- next thing I woke up in a bunk in a ship that was being flown by this… well, did you ever meet Oshkuba?”

“Only once.”

“Yeah, well- she was the first Wookie I’d ever seen and she was, well, kind of weird, all that kind of Knights business and all- but she looked after me, I guess, until she took me to Chandrilla and Ben was there and so were Mom and Dad and, well, all you guys. So I’m not sure what it Ben thought he was doing with me but I’m glad he did.”

_ ...I mean, at first it had been terrifying when Oshkuba carried me down from the ship and waiting there was a **huge** mature Wookie, and after some intense roaring from both Oshkuba had **put me down and backed away**, and I was standing waiting for the worst when Ben appeared, and he didn’t exactly sweep me into his arms because he never did, but he did say something like “Oh, you’re here. Come and meet FN2187, they call him Finn.” And as Ben had been a good option up to that point, I followed him to where everyone was rushing to the landing pad to see what had happened, and Ben nudged me towards one guy and said “Finn, this is Padmé, she’s a sister of yours.” And the man crouched down to me and said: “Hi, Padmé. You can come with me. Everything’s going to be different now.” And that was how I met my dad._

***

“Ben’s explanation was that he had known certain things about your past and he had tried to use you as a hostage. Apparently it didn’t work out.”

“I didn’t know I had a past. Not beyond before being a cadet. I mean, I was four.”

“I know. Unfortunately what Ben knew disappeared with him.”

***

_...That was a day I did remember, in fact… actually I remembered how it all started, I don’t know whether it was the same day or a day or two- I remember Dad coming into the garden where I was running in circles and singing… you know, I think it might have been Kaydel who would get me to sing with her… _

_Dad crouched down to my level and put his arms around me. _

_“Hush now, Padme. Everyone’s very sad today.” _

_“Are they?”_

_ “It’s General Organa, honey, she’s… she’s gone away.” _

_“Finn, I’m four. I know what dead is.” (Which, I mean… I did.) _

_“Yes, pumpkin, I know you do-” _

_“What’s pumpkin?” _

_“I don’t know actually, it was something Poe said the other day. Listen: it’s not quite like she died like most people do- like some of your bunkmates, yes? When they got sick? I know. Well General Organa- she did get sicker and fall asleep, and then… Ben says she has become one with the Force. She’s just disappeared. And she’s not coming back and everyone’s very sad.” _

_“Oh. Do you want a hug?” I’d been learning about that. _

_“_ _**I’d** like a hug if you want to do that, thank you.” _

_“Okay.” It turned out that someone dying- or something like dying- in the world I’d been brought into meant a lot of people coming to visit- some of them I’d seen before, not only people who had ‘business’ with Poe and Vi and Kaydel and Chewie, and Mister Lando and the people who came with him, and Kaydel’s family and the old ladies from Nabboo, but people in smart clothes who all turned up for the ceremony that they did and then went into groups and talked very seriously. But it was after that that the two gungans came and Ben glared at everyone else until they all left him alone in the kitchen with them. _

_So it must have been a different day when the white ship came, and all the shouting started. There was a **lot** of shouting._

***

“Kaydel… was Ben being arrested?”

“Yes. We didn’t know how to explain it to you. You were actually quite accepting that people got taken away without warning.”

_ ...I **thought** that I’d shouted after him to come back, and Chewbacca had taken my hand and warbled at me that it would all be okay. And that was when Aunt Rey had started crying..._

“Didn’t… didn’t Uncle Poe get very upset about it all?”

“Ah yes… yes, he did have to get stunned, unfortunately. The arresting officers were afraid he’d get himself hurt. Did your parents ever tell you why Ben was taken away?”

“No? I mean like I said I thought he didn’t exactly get on with everyone but there really was a lot of yelling…”

“Well… you see, we had known that Ben Solo had disappeared for a long time, and nobody had said it but at the time, I think we had all believed he’d been given up for dead. Then the First Order lost two so-called Supreme Leaders in mysterious circumstances and their Grand Marshall, very close together, and Ben- who we knew had these uncanny abilities and who had had connections to one-time undercover agents through his family… it seemed a good enough explanation. People didn’t always just sit down and tell you about these things- it wouldn’t actually be in character for Ben to do that anyway.”

“But…”

“Well- it turned out that, while he had been responsible for the elimination of the Supreme Leaders and the Grand Marshall, he’d still been heavily involved in activities of the First Order. And General Organa had probably known that. As had… had a number of people who were with us and had held back until after the General died.”

“Did you know?”

“No, but over time I… wondered. I maybe wasn’t as shocked as some people were.”

“You mean Poe hadn’t seen the whole thing coming.”

“Well- Poe had met Ben a few times when he was younger and knew that he’d always been a bit… different, and had been going around more or less telling everyone to just let Ben be himself. Also, Poe had been captured by the first order at one point and he’d been tortured. It left an impression. I suppose you remember that he took it badly.”

“I remember I saw- yes, he was upset. And I do know he must have really loved the General. Still does.”

“Oh yes. Beyond any cognitive dissonance after the fact.”

“Was all this why people started leaving afterwards?”

“Oh no, not really. It wasn’t out of hard feelings. Everyone had work to do- in the new government, or pockets of renegades all over the place… people’s lives were already pulling them elsewhere, and by then we felt less and less tied to that house by the sea… we came back for the wedding, do you remember?”

“Of course. The gunghan lawyers came back before Aunt Rey left, though, and she asked for mom and dad to come in with her and they were like, really worried, and then when dad came out he was like, absolutely glowing with happiness and he came to me and put his arm around me and said “Padmé, we’re going to stay here forever. We’re going to be okay from now on.””

“You know what that was, don’t you?”

“Not really.”

“Ben inherited the house from his mother- it was almost the last that was left of the estate after she’d put her fortune into the Resistance. When he knew he couldn’t remain free for long, he put everything he owned in your Aunt Rey’s name, and Rey… well, I don’t need to explain to you about how close Rey is to your family.”

“Rey _is_ family. To all of us. Not just Ania.”

“I know. Did you know about that from the beginning?”

“Of course. The boys don’t remember- they were about two, we’d had them about six months- they had spent far more time in the resettlement station than they’d been in the cadet creche- it woke me up in the night when I heard Dad talking on the comlink when Poe called from the medicentre off Endo, and his voice was like getting higher and higher and Mom went downstairs trying to calm him down and he was using words like ‘brain trauma’ and ‘they’re going to operate’ and Mom was like, ‘just go get dressed and get in the ship, I can hang on here’, and she came back up and told me ‘your Aunt Rey’s had an accident and your dad’s going to see her in the medicenter, go back to bed’, and then because it’s Mom she’s like ‘okay, get in our bed then, whatever’,”

“Was that Rose’s parenting style?”

“Oh, you don’t cross the line with her, ever- but then the line is actually a long way away and you like, couldn’t go over it just by accident, if you know what I mean. And like, there were all these things that the twins did or didn’t do where I was a good girl for eating all my food and being clean and tidy, I didn’t know it was an option not to until Mom told me what a good girl I was.”

“_Padmé_, you were telling me about when Ania was born.”

“Well I didn’t know that much else, I got up in the morning and Dad was there all red-eyed and tired and holding this ridiculously tiny baby all wrapped in a medicenter blanket, and he said ‘Aunt Rey’s crashed her ship and she’s still in the medicentre to get better, and she was carrying a baby so they had to take Baby out early so they could do the operation. So we’re going to look after Baby for a while. And she’s called Ania.’ And that’s how I got my sister, because they said: ‘for a while’ but Aunt Rey never really took her away, she just stayed with us whenever she wasn’t off on a mission somewhere instead.”

“So was there ever a point where you asked any more about Ania?”

“How so?”

“Well, you knew that Au- that Rey was her mother, but you never asked any more about that?”

“What- did I ask how she…”

“You weren’t curious?”

“Well- no- I mean- I mean I know in theory- I mean I know in theory about how little Paige happened but I don’t, you know, dwell on it. I mean, when I was like, six, she was the first baby I knew that hadn’t just turned up on a transport, and now I knew that they grew in other people but I didn’t know why and by the time I did then Aunt Rey was like… it was Aunt Rey, I didn’t want to think about like, _that_.”

“I see.”

“It’s… it’s not Poe Dameron, is it?”

“What?”

“I mean they went off to the Outer Rim on a mission together and… well Ania just looks like Aunt Rey mostly but her eyes are dark and she’s got like, very dark wavy hair and I guess… I wondered.”

“Well, I’m fairly sure it wasn’t.”

“Oh, right. I mean I guess that’s… well, seeing as I hadn’t known that before then I’m glad it’s not the case. I mean I would have thought less of Poe if he’d been Ania’s father and he’d been a way about it that I’d never realised that it was him, you know? So yeah, no, I don’t know who it was. But I don’t know who my birth father or my mother was and we don’t know who Sam and Kel’s biological parents were and our dad doesn’t know about his either, so Ania’s still got it over most of the family, so it’s not like I was going to worry about her having _two_ parents. Rey gave her the same last name as herself and _she_ had named herself, after- well, I’m sure you know.”

“I do. Well what I want to ask you is- which of these bays goes to your apartment?”

“Oh- not this one. Or the next one, it’s the one after- that one! It’s okay, you can go round the building if you turn left, I mean right here. That way. It’s… two after this. Yes, this one.”

***

Our building isn’t one of the very famous ones, rather it’s one of the ones that you can see the famous residential buildings from (whereas all they have to look at is our building, so isn’t ours better?), but our floor still does well enough that the speeders in the bay were all a lot more eye-catching than the one that we were docking in- it just about hid among all the elongated front cones and startling paint jobs. I got out and tried to walk along the paint as much as possible, it was a bit smoother on my feet. It wasn’t so warm here and I hopped to the marble turbolift vestibule before I turned around to see if my old-new acquaintance was following- which she was, pulling a shawl over her tunic and looking up to give me what I think was supposed to be a reassuring smile.

“Is it very late?” I said.

“About ten to midnight. I thought you said you were always home early?”

I mumbled something about it being a weekend, and it being the Young Students’ Club night, and found myself backing into the wall of the turbolift- which was frankly weird as the lift is all transparisteel, and probably gets the best view in the building. Right now I can’t say I was really convincing myself that I was an appropriate adult.

I let us into the apartment and let Kaydel do the moment that everyone does when they come in- she did say:

“Well, this is nice, it’s very…. blue,” but didn’t feel the need to tell me that it was big or shiny or any of the other things.

I left her standing in the hall while I went off calling for Ania- and if you think the apartment is startling you really aren’t ready to see Ania’s room- even when it’s tidy, the glitter, the shimmeryness, the neon, the overwhelming _pink_ is something you have to be braced for. She wasn’t there. It was almost neat, the bed made, no books or clothes abandoned on the floor, as if she hadn’t been in there since the house-droid had been in.

Odd.

I crossed the passage to the den. Not there either; the computer modules were cold, the chairs and control pads set in straight symmetry that only a droid (or our dad) would bother with.

I crossed again to my room, fully aware that it must have been obvious that I was missing one thirteen year old girl. I tried the refresher door- it opened, empty. Went into my room (because… because it was there and who knows why she might have been in there?)

She wasn’t.

_How could she be missing? Really, this night of all nights? When I’ve been telling a family friend- which I guess Kaydel must be- that I can look after her and she’s… gone?_

_ I’ve failed. I’ve completely failed. Nobody will ever really get over me losing my sister…_

I knew that as I walked back to the great room I was hugging my arms around myself. It seemed impossible not to. I tried to say something. It came out as:

“_I…_” and that’s all I had.

Kaydel looked at me sort of… interested. Then she nodded towards a couch that stands with its back to the hallway.

“There’s a holofilm playing over there.” There was, and I didn’t see the relevance in the circumstances, but then…

Ania was lying on the couch, fast asleep, her hair still braided, still in her favourite dress- a shiny, straight lined affair that Uda Pho sent- misguidedly, I thought- for my ‘cute’ plus one at some launch party I took Ania to- it is a hard, clear shade of pink that would suit the frosting on a donut, and has a ribbon round its skinny waist in a blue the colour of mouthwash. Ania would wear it every day if she could.

Asleep, she looked… well, what she is awake, most of the time. Ania’s face always does relax into a pout that makes her look either woebegone or sulky- called sometimes a moue, I believe- which at some point today she’d decided to enhance further with a pink lipstick which almost but not quite matched the dress and was now smeared almost to her ear. Her pale, pointy face reflected the flickering hologram colours- now blue, now green, yellow or white. She did not, in short, look like a little girl who ate and slept appropriately at regular hours, did all her homework, had friends her own age and a responsible adult who was always there for her.

“Hey. Hey you. Kid.” I tried to move her- she just curled up further, leaving a lipstick smear on the cushion. “Oh, fine. But you’re going in your own room. ‘Scuse us a minute.” I crouched down and picked her up- at which Kaydel let out a brief, unrefined snort of amused astonishment (so! she wasn’t completely impervious), but honestly it’s easy- Ania’s growing, but nearly all of it upwards (and anyway it’s not like I don’t keep my figure like, you know, the figure I was signed for in the first place- fortunately the athletic look his been where it’s at for the last few years)- apart from legs that now trail down like tire tubes, it doesn’t feel much unlike hulking her around when she was tiny.

Anyway, she was also now totally faking being asleep. Well, okay, fine.

She almost kept it up- but for holding her neck too stiff- until I dropped her onto her bed.

“Hey!”

“I knew it. Go and wash your face. And then go to bed.”

“I was asleep, _actually_. Where have you been? You’ve been back hours, I watched like, three holofilms.”

“You’re meant to have been at juniors’ club.”

“Juniors’ club sucks. _Anyway_ why have you brought that spy here?”

“She’s not a spy.”

“Padmé, she’s a spy. You just have to listen to her.”

“She’s hardly said anything.”

“Yeah, well.”

“She’s not here as a spy, she’s mom’s friend.”

“Fine, you don’t have to listen to me.”

“You can go to bed if you like.”

“I’m asleep already. I went to sleep waiting for you to come back from partying when you’re meant to be looking after me, remember?” “Good, I don’t have to put up with this nonsense then. Goodnight. Remember to wash your face.”

“I’m going.”

“Goodnight.”

“Padmé wait!... can I… can I go in your room?”

“Ania Skywalker, you’re thirteen. Aren’t you a bit old for that sort of thing?”

“Well I haven’t seen you _all day_.”

This is the thing about Ania- you can’t coax her to like, just go and socialise, even with people she’s known all her life, not with kind words or bantha prods, but be unavailable for a moment and you’ll find out that what she actually wants from friends and family is to cling to them as much like an ewok cub as is feasible. I put my arms around her and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry I was late. You can sleep in my room if you like. Why don’t we go out somewhere tomorrow, hm? You and me?”

***

I found Kaydel Ko Konnix still watching the holofilm when I came back. She’d hung her cloak over an armchair and was lounging on the couch with her feet up.

“Sorry about that. I’ve, um, got a spare room if you want to stay over.”

“Thank you. You’re getting a very grown up little hostess.”

“I’m trying, but… I don’t quite… Kaydel, what exactly is going on?”

“Well as I understand it: that guy with the ears was courting that woman with the teeth and then the day after he kissed her he flew off the planet and his message to her went missing and she’s gone to see his mother…”

“No, not the holofilm- I don’t understand why you’ve come to see us.”

Kaydel turned her cooly scrutinising look on me again and I tried very hard not to think about owls. (And yes, you can not-think about something. You learn that if you ever get babysat by Aunt Rey.)

“I could tell you… I need somewhere to stay for a couple of days, and this place seemed a very unlikely place for anyone to look for me. Would that be sufficient?”

“I think if you said that I’d be worried. Just, you know, the kid.”

“I promise you that nobody will come in pursuit of me who would do you or Ania any harm.”

“Oh. I guess that’s okay. You can stay, then. Only I promised to take Ania to the equetorial park tomorrow and that she doesn’t have to bring any friends.”

“Oh dear, she really doesn’t like other children, does she?”

“She just needs space… actually even her imaginary friends were older.”

“Imaginary friends? Even with four siblings?”

“Yeah. Though actually Ania had an imaginary Grandma.”

Kaydel Ko Konnix widened her eyes until they looked perfectly circular.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean… I mean, you’d think it was enough- I don’t know, maybe _because_ she was the only one of us who had her birth-mother but… anyway, no point thinking about that stuff. Yeah, imaginary grandma. Still does for all I know. Just these days she wouldn’t like, talk to her in front of me.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired in part by two locations: these pictures that are how I now imagine Leia’s house https://soubrettina.tumblr.com/post/148115614225/alexfain-zealandfury-papalagiblog
> 
> And this picture of Ania’s room might have partly inspired her: https://soubrettina.tumblr.com/post/172515880275/14g-tumblr-jessaudreylynn-ig-jessaudreylynn#notes


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